Everything In Australia Wants To Kill You

Everything in Australia is Trying to Kill You

Everything in Australia is Trying to Kill You

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that every single fauna in Australia in possession of a good self-defense machinery must want to end your life. In other words, everything in Commonwealth of australia is trying to kill y’all!

From the spiders to the sharks, the snakes to the stingers, the crocs to the cassowaries, almost any living fauna over here you can call back of, aside from perhaps the koala, has been the crusade of a homo injury or death.

In fact, thinking about information technology, I’m sure even the innocent-looking koala, attempting a foolhardy road-crossing at some bespeak, has been backside the demise of some poor private after forcing them to swerve their vehicle to avoid it.

So you lot get my gist, Commonwealth of australia is a dangerous and wild state; essentially you part-risk your life merely stepping out the front door.


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So Far so Good

Croc Sign

Merely after a year here, I was glad to say I had managed to avoid existence eaten by sharks while diving the Bang-up Bulwark Reef and stung past the jellyfish in the tropical north.

I’d safely navigated bush camping on Fraser Isle with the dingos and river-swimming in the Northern Territory around giant crocs.

I’d managed to go on the shoes exterior my tent spider-costless, the route in forepart of me koala-gratis and I’d avoided even seeing a cassowary.

I thought I was doing pretty well.

Well until the magpie-breeding season that is!

Wolves in Sheeps’ Clothing

Magpie

I should have seen it coming, I should have known there was something untoward in those beady trivial black eyes, and razor-sharp bill.

However who would have guessed at such a lurking sinister nature?

Afterward all, at home in the Britain, the worst a magpie might exercise is steal a bit of glinting tinfoil from the rubbish bin.

Not down nether though my friends.

Oh no here, magpies are killers, veritable wolves in sheep vesture.

That’s right, fifty-fifty the innocent-looking suburban magpie is a dangerous predator in Commonwealth of australia.

Like something from a Hitchcock Movie

And how do I know this? Well sadly, I’ve experienced the savagery and viciousness of one of these Australian magpies first hand.

And let me tell you, it’s definitely the greatest danger I’ve faced in this whole country past a long way.

Moving-picture show the scene, there I am taking my usual 20 minute walk from abode to the shops through the tranquility and picturesque residential streets of Noosa, Queensland.

When, all of a sudden, I’g aware of a terrifyingly large flapping of wings, accompanied by a loud shriek and clacking correct behind my ear, every bit something ominous and blackness swoops right past my head.

Luckily I scream, duck and run rapidly plenty that bird misses me, or at to the lowest degree that’s what I tell myself.

Yet, as I proceed to scurry up the street, heart pounding and head turning around to bank check its whereabouts, I run into the magpie following me, doing circles in the air and then diving down occasionally, like a school-ground bully protecting its turf and warning me against trespassing whatsoever farther.

I try to cantankerous the road to avert it, but to no avail – I realise this thing can fly and swoop and circle far greater than I ever can.

It swoops me once again and again, as I run crazed, zig-zagging my down the street trying badly to get out of its evil path.

Looking for comprehend, now almost in tears, I finally find some in a daycare eye auto park merely off the road.

Panting, gasping and fearing for my life I make a beeline for this shelter.

Here, at least, I can rest with some sort of cover for protection to a higher place me and assess the situation.

Thankfully information technology seems the bird has at last left me alone.

I hateful I can all the same see its ominous outline in the trees, just it seems to take finally given up the physical chase. After a minute or 2 to catch my breath, I pluck up the backbone to pace out of the car park and am incredibly relieved to discover the bird doesn’t motility.

The last I meet of that bloodthirsty thing is when I finally manage to accomplish the crossroads.

In that location it is, sitting atop the street sign, its glaring optics watching me closely equally I bustle, thankfully unscathed, out of its domain.

Secret Knowledge

Danger Dingo

Well I think I’yard going mad of course, until I get back home that is (via the passenger vehicle this time) and relay the story to my Australian housemate.

“Oh yep,” she says nonchalantly, “they’re dangerous things those magpies during mating season.

People frequently go carted off to hospital with bleeding scalps from where the magpie’s beak has caught them off guard. If they get you lot from the incorrect angle they tin fifty-fifty accept your eye out.”

Blinded from a magpie assault? Surely not.

“Yes, they’ll go for anything that gets in their manner,’ she adds, “kids, dogs, they’re not discriminatory.”

Well glad as I am that magpies aren’t prejudiced members of Australia, I tin’t help but feel shocked that nobody has bothered to mention this common bird on the long list of dangerous antipodean creatures.

I mean killer magpies hunting people down in the street and no one thinks to say annihilation? What’due south going on?

“Well if we told everyone about it, information technology’d scare all the backpackers abroad,” came her answer. “Virtually of them are scared of cockroaches and caterpillars, let lone swooping unsafe birds.”

She’south got a good indicate hither, but it only doesn’t cut it I’k afraid.

While I might not be able to deny the truth of what she said, I tin can’t help merely spread the word about these dangerous birds, if only to stop some other innocent trailer getting a nasty stupor similar me.

So there y’all have it, magpies truly are one of the nigh prominent dangers in Commonwealth of australia.

Every bit far as I’thousand concerned, this land can keep its exotic scare tactics most snakes and spiders to a minimum.

The way I run across it, you lot’re actually far more than likely to come into dangerous contact with a swooping crazed magpie on the streets of Commonwealth of australia than you are a crocodile.

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So people, scout out, you take been warned! Everything in Australia IS trying to kill yous, non least the common suburban birds … information technology’s like something out of a horror movie!

Tags:

Australia, Stories, Well Being, Wildlife

Source: https://www.bigworldsmallpockets.com/everything-in-australia-is-trying-to-kill-you/

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