South Park: Post Covid: The Return Of Covid Domain_10

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Nosotros should have known it would all come downwards to a fart.

South Park
officially wrapped its
Post COVID
saga on Thursday with
The Return of COVID, a one-hour followup to the futuristic feast Paramount+ served u.s. this past Thanksgiving.

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Before resuming the story at hand, nosotros’re treated to a flashback of a seemingly boilerplate day at Due south Park Elementary Schoolhouse. Cartman is thrilled to announce that he took a picture of Heather Williams farting during gym class, ane they tin utilize as blackmail to score Denver Nuggets tickets from Heather’due south well-connected mom. But earlier Cartman has a chance to face her, the schoolhouse announces a ii-week shutdown, allowing the fart to remain unexposed.

Then the misery of quarantine sets in. Stan’due south parents start fighting, he’s depressed all the fourth dimension, he accidentally burns Shelly alive, his mother kills herself — the whole nine yards. The memories still haunt Stan’south nightmares as an developed, especially now that he’s found himself in a 2d quarantine; due to the recent discovery of the McCormickron strain, no one is allowed to enter or leave Southward Park for 20–30 years.

Gaining access to Kenny’s time travel technology requires a vocal scan from his credible acquaintance “Victor Chaus,” whom Stan and Kyle discover to be Butters when they reunite at Southward Park Mental Asylum Plus. (Side note: The Chaus/Chaos reveal at the end of
Mail service COVID
actually was but the best, wasn’t it?)

But much has changed about the one they called “Butters” since we saw him in 2021. Even after the get-go quarantine orders were lifted, his parents apparently kept him under lock and key. They even grounded him, then completely disappeared, leaving him in his room for 16 years. Now, he’s a mustachio’d NFT grifter whose methods — which normally involve getting someone and then deep into the currency that they kill themselves and maybe others — are rightfully deemed “unspeakable.”

Meanwhile, Cartman has formed a modest rebellion determined to prevent Kyle from traveling back in time. Convinced Kyle is solely out to destroy his family and foreclose him from e’er meeting his honey Yentl, he hides them in the church building cranium. (The fact that his daughter starts keeping a diary almost Kyle’s injustice feels like depression-hanging fruit, fifty-fifty for
South Park.) When Cartman catches wind that his enemies are working with Butters, he seizes the opportunity to shut their functioning down from the inside and steal the equipment for himself. The recruitment process includes a moment where Butters accidentally pees all over Cartman in the bath, which barely missed the cutting-off for our annual Scenes Nosotros Wish We Could Unsee list.

This is where Cartman’s messaging suddenly changes. Instead of stopping Kyle from going dorsum in time, he convinces Clyde to go back in time and kill Kyle in the past. He trusts Clyde to carry out this mission because, as an anti-vaxxer, Clyde has proven that he’s willing to stand by his beliefs fifty-fifty if information technology means other people will die. Cartman’southward family unit, on the other manus, doesn’t back up this violent plan. They believe that reuniting with Kyle has brought out the worst in Cartman, and she has faith that they will withal notice each other in a unlike timeline. Honestly, it’s kind of cute.

But considering Cartman’s baby is chaos in its purest course, he pulls the lever and sends Clyde back in time before Cartman tells him near the change of plans. So Cartman, Kyle and Stan
also
have to go dorsum to stop Clyde from killing Kyle. Information technology’s a whole thing, one that ends with Cartman blowing Clyde’s brains out and dropping him off a bridge.

And yet… nothing changes. As the guys begin to confront the possibility that they’re now stuck in the by every bit adults, they individually admit that they screwed up. Because Randy will e’er brand love to that pangolin in every believable timeline, it’south impossible to prevent COVID from happening. What they were able to control, withal, was their reaction to the pandemic. They were scared, confused and didn’t know what to believe, so they all took unlike paths — and they need to get-go cut each other some slack.

Peckish 1 single “precedented time,” the three grown men pay a visit to young Heather Williams, showing her the picture Cartman took of her farting in gym class. And just like that, their younger selves are being flown off to a Denver Nuggets game in Heather’s mom’s visitor helicopter. Future Stan makes one more change, sending a tegridy bud dorsum to Randy which produces a strain potent plenty to get Randy to apologize to Sharon for how he acted in the pandemic. He gives the weed out for free to everyone in town, and relationships are magically mended to the tune of Kelly Clarkson’s “I Forgive Y’all.” Just most chiefly, at that place are no more
Space Jams.

South Park Cartman Homeless — Southward Park Cartman Homeless

Nosotros’re then given a glimpse of the character’s bright new futures: Stan is in the (infinite?) military machine, Kenny wins the Nobel Prize for combining dark affair with breast implants, Jimmy is back to doing raunchy comedy, Shelly and Sharon are
alive, and Wendy and Stan are spending New Twelvemonth’southward Eve together. Yes, all’s well that ends… oh, right. Cartman.

“Poor Cartman. It’s so sad, he never did anything with his life,” Kyle and Stan lament as a drunk, destitute Cartman curses at them from across the street. But not even Butters has any sympathy left. “Come on, fellas, nosotros can’t spend some other holiday feeling bad for Eric,” he says. “There’s nothing that could have changed the path he was on.”

Uh… so much for Yentl, nosotros guess.

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Mail service COVID: The Return of COVID? Form it in our poll below, then

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